Why People Don’t Listen To Advice

Nov 07, 2018
 

Sometimes people don't want to listen to our advice.

They want to just keep on making the same mistakes, even when we are a person that knows better, that's been there, done that. We know exactly what they need. We tell them what they need, but they still won't listen.

That can be frustrating.

So what are some things you can do?

Well first off you can honor them. You can use this method that actually I learned from Susan Stiffelman, a family and marriage therapist. She actually taught this as a technique you can use with your children, but I think you use this with anybody.

Start out with the three yes's. Say three things that they could say yes to.

Start out with something such as: "Ah man that must be really tough."

And they would most likely respond "Yes it is."

"Man that sucks, I can't believe that happened."

"Yes, I know."

"Man I bet you wished that things were different."

"Oh my goodness yes, I do."

And it opens them up to think: wow this person really cares about me.

Then go ahead and give your suggested advice.

However more times than not, most people don't need your advice. They just want you to be there for them.

When we're in a challenging situation and we're sharing with somebody, it's vulnerable.

It can bring up mixed emotions. We may not know what we want to do. We may not be ready to take action. We just want to know that it's okay to be who we are right now.

Notice how your body feels when you refrain from giving advice. Pay more attention to that, then your need to open your mouth up and give advice, and see how that feels.

Just be a witness to yourself and the sensations in your body when your doing something that's kind of new to you.

You can also take a deeper dive with this. Make it your practice to no longer have this need to fix people. Have empathy for the person that's going through that situation.

And if you want a place that has that empathy, that has that support, that's okay with you being just who you are right now in this moment, come and join me over in my Facebook group called The Nourishing Nook.

I hope to see you there!

 
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